Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Doodle: Celebrity Is As Celebrity Does


I might not make as much money as a celebrity or travel very much or get free things like a celebrity but at least I'm passing on some pretty great swagger to the next generation, right?

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Doodle: Mad for Fall

Oy! How much can change in a year and a half! I took what I thought would be a small hiatus and, well, one more baby, a move, and several health problems later here we are! We've moved from Florida to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I can say without a doubt that it was the most emotionally difficult move we've ever had. I still have days of breathlessness from how much I miss our friends and community in Gainesville. That's not to say that Pittsburgh doesn't have plenty of it's own charms, because it certainly does! For starters we have all four seasons which means I only have to hiss at the day-star and cower inside for 3 months of the year instead of 8. And while I'm missing my Florida friends I can at least comfort myself with scarves and hot chocolate and snowmen.

We're coming up on our second Autumn here in the Burgh and I am lov-ing it! I've decided we're going to run our house like a B&B for my friends who don't get to experience Fall and Winter in their own states. So if you want to feel a nip in the air and drink some hot cider in front of a fireplace, come on by!


Friday, January 3, 2014

Doodle: You Know You're Grumpy When...

Today is so not my day. Everything is working against me. E-ver-re-thing. Granted, I'm sure it's really because I'm nine months pregnant and hormonal but that is beside the point. I'm not sure how it happens, but somehow MY hormones tend to make everyone else around me ridiculous.
I'm fine. It's everyone else who is crazy and problematic.

Needless to say, I'm a tad grumpy. I didn't realize the full extent of my cloud of doom until, after a morning of full combat, my kids sat quietly at the lunch table and I heard Liam gasp in surprise.

I'll be honest, I kind of ignored the gasp. I was sitting at a different table to give myself some literal and emotional space from the kids. I had no desire to start engaging conversationally again. But then I heard the quiet awe in Liam's voice as he said: "she's smiling!"

Who is smiling? Why is it such a big deal?

I looked up.


I felt my face. I was the one smiling. I was the one who made tentative wonder break across the faces of her kids as they beheld -- gasp -- a positive emotion expressed on her face.

"Is this it?" I could practically hear their brains asking. "Is there hope? Do we get to be happy now?"

If this isn't a facepalm worthy moment as a parent, I don't know what is. Consider this my formal apology, kids, for how grumpy I've been today. Granted, you'll have to learn to read before you see this but we'll work on that. Maybe not today but eventually.

Thankfully this encounter ended as do many of the ones I decide to blog about. With desperate, slightly maniacal, but much-needed laughter. Our hearts were lightened. Peace was (albeit probably temporarily) restored.

Maybe tomorrow my hormones won't make everyone else so crazy.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Doodle: Dress for Success

With the current economic climate being what it is, and the fact that many young people are now pounding the pavement looking for hard-won jobs, I thought I would offer some timely advice from my years of experience and wisdom. I am, after all, 27 years old -- which is almost 30. And 30 is basically the same as 40. So you could say I'm heading over the hill, really.

I have what -- in my opinion -- is one of the most enviable jobs. Two jobs, in fact. I am both a stay at home mom (or a SAHM if you read mommy-blogs [which I don't if I can help it]) and a writer. More specifically, a novelist. Except for when I moonlight as a blogger. And also those times I write articles. But you get what I mean.

What I'm trying to say is that you all want my job, I promise. Granted, I have yet to make any money at it, and I am almost guaranteed to only ever make a pittance if anything, but that is beside the point. So my big tip for those out looking for a job is: dress for success. I doubt anyone else has shared that pearl with you. They probably don't even really want you to find a job, but I do, so I'm going to share what I consider to be my work uniform. My day hasn't really begun until I've put on these inspirational and hard working clothes.

Momvelist Work Uniform
Awww yisss.

Firstly, I make sure my pajama pants are mostly clean. Or at least don't have any visible stains. Secondly, I wear whatever t-shirt I find that is closest to wherever I threw my pajama pants the night before. On top of that I layer some well-loved flannel or house coat. Preferably something that the thrift store wouldn't even try to sell. Then, lastly, socks. Matching not required.

I promise, if you dress like this, people will ask you to stay home to work.

On second thought the above example really only applies to the writer part. If you also want to be a stay at home mom then I suggest auditioning for the part dressed like this.


Though, to be perfectly honest, I have a pretty high success rate getting SAHM endorsements (ie, kids) dressed in the previous uniform.

Happy job hunting!

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Heavy: A Sacred Battle



Marriage is not just an exchanging of hearts and minds but also of swords. It's saying "I will think of you first," and "I will love whom you love and care for what you care about," and it's also "I will fight your battles for you."

And even more importantly one needs to understand that the battle to stay married is a fierce one, and sometimes enough blood gets in our eyes, enough grief enters our hearts and poison enters our minds, that we turn against one another.

Sometimes your most intimate ally becomes the one who has the most power to devastate you, and still you must fight for them while they are doing their best to destroy you. This is the only way marriage survives.

Marriage is wonderful, and terrible, and sacred, and glorious. It is not for the faint of heart.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Kidversations: Disappointing News

Liam, after being told he had to stop asking if he could sleep in my bed: I'm really sorry to tell you this, mommy, but I have to sleep in your bed tonight. I'm really disappointed.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Kidversations: Partial Credit



Me: This is a W. It makes the "wuh" sound. Do you know what word starts with W?

Liam: Wuh, wuh, really big fish!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Doodle: WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH

For anyone who has sweetly, but mistakenly, thought I was a "chill parent."








Kidversations: Wait, This Isn't a Restaurant?

Me, after Liam has requested a menu change: Sorry, Liam. This is not a restaurant and I am not a short-order cook. You eat what you're given or not at all.
Liam, confused: But...this IS a restaurant!

Oh, son. You crack me up!